Everyone feels trapped sometimes. Though it is especially nightmarish to be trapped inside your own walls. You are always within yourself, sure, but you can also always permeate beyond your own mind. Being truly trapped comes when you strengthen the walls so much that no matter how loud you scream you can’t get a word out.
It feels like they’ll never understand, no one else will understand. So much so that when you witness empirical evidence that some others do understand you reject it, it makes you mad. It makes you want to feel worse and get worse and act worse because they don’t really understand, they don’t really get what it’s like. The normalization of your condition in that you feel less alone is more infuriating than the myth that you are self important enough to be a solitary tortured conciousness.
Two strikes and you’re out
Why can’t I get three?
If one little mistake
Speaks so evidently
To the unreal condition
Of an unreal soul
Then what is the matter
With a fraudulent goal